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Act my age?
What the fuck is that, “act my age”?
What do I care how old I am?
The Ocean is old as fuck.
It will still drown your ass with vigor.
-the greatest thing i have ever read (via seabelle)

(Source: howitzerliterarysociety, via be-cutfree-and-hope)

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Anonymous said: you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE

dajo42:

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come closer one second

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little closer

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okay close enough

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i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?

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that would be me.

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do you know what this crown means?

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it means i look fucking cute

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and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt

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now as your fucking queen, i royally declare

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that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema

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overtextposts:

never trust a person who talk to their pets in their normal voice

(Source: overentertainment, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)